They say you learn something new every day.

There’s been a few times recently when people have started arguing with me about things. At work, it’s a bit of an occupational habit, as I often have to make difficult, and not always popular, decisions.

What I’ve realised, though, is there’s a standard “pattern” to arguments. The “Argument Cycle”, if you like.

You get rising and rising tension, as each of you become more stuck in your opinion. The only way to stop it is to step outside of it, and say or do something that makes everyone see things from everyone’s point of view.

I’m not a big fan of conflict, and I sometimes tend to avoid it. But I’m not sure conflict is ever really a good thing. You can’t really “win” an argument by arguing. The only way you can win is by shifting the conversation. 


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